my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize
