dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
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