How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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