DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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