can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
