Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
