I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Help me help you realize you are a moron
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
