Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Randomize
