lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Randomize
