I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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