I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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