R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
