So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
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