That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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