My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
