I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
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