Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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