Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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