she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Randomize
