You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Randomize
