honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Randomize
