Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
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