he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
