he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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