just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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