Can i not drive my cunt home
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Randomize
