Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
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