Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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