That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
