Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
