Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
