You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
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