i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Randomize
