I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
