what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
