I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Randomize
