used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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