tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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