I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Randomize
