the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
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