she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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