Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
I have demons in me.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize