dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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