We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
