Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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