since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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