After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
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