Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
we're so committed to being not committed
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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