i don't plan on having that self control this summer
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
