her vagine was all disorganized.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Randomize
